Toxic Positivity


We live in a society that is addicted to happiness. Why is this dangerous? It is dangerous because we have come to strive for progress, not realizing that nothing in the universe only ever experiences growth. Ancient societies knew this cycle well. The problem with positivity and happiness is that it can become toxic. If we continue to ignore our mood and emotions, we also ignore the information and directives those states provide us with. We neglect to nourish those parts of our soul that require attention.

Living in isolation, or in a society that does not have an element of community, we tend to have experiences without ever getting reassurance that we have a lesson to share from that experience. We don’t get a chance to be welcomed back with our newfound experience and gifts. Hence, we tend to repeat these behaviors over and over again. We are stuck. In order for us to grow into adulthood, we need to experience being welcomed. We usually can’t experience that, so, we need to welcome back those parts of us that we have rejected. In order to do that, we need to make ourselves quite appealing. Those parts of our soul are cautious about being welcomed back because they know they were not welcome. Now, the reason why we want to welcome everyone back is because we can’t heal what we are fighting. This is why starting over doesn’t work. In order for starting over to work is by accepting the stories and the pain. It is by creating a safe circle where our pain is witnessed and supported. Unwitnessed pain is trauma. Pain that is shared and spoken about openly is integrated back into our psyche. This also helps heal the shame we carry along with those pieces of soul we have rejected.


In order to heal, we need to begin with kindness and acceptance. Our world becomes wider and lighter by doing that, as we notice that we are more accepting of others as well. When we reject parts of ourselves, we tend to do that with others. We become closed off and judgmental. Although we need solitude, it is important to distinguish whether that is an act of self-care or avoiding connection. It is in those places of darkness that we are invited to figure this out. It is necessary for our evolution.



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